Wednesday, May 1, 2013

She's Having a Baby

Things I wish I'd knew before I got pregnant:

I wish I knew that Morning Sickness does not always mean it happens in the morning. If you are like me, then it goes on all day, and all night and even while you're sleeping. Seriously, if I wanted to feel nauseous and sea sick I would have gotten into a little boat and taken myself out to sea and thrown away the anchor so that I could be tossed all over the place by the waves for two months straight. For this reason,  I will never, I promise you, never go on a cruise or get on a boat in open seas if I can help it ever again, amen.

If you're going to toss your cookies, better to do it in the morning after you have eaten plain saltine crackers, instead of later in the day on a full stomach.

Gas. I have been crop dusting all over my house, down grocery isles, everywhere. I've considered purchasing two gas masks for bedtime. One for me and one for my poor husband. It is terrible.

Fat rhinoceros feet. That hasn't happened yet, but I know it's coming. This is discouraging as I like my slender feet and am prone to "foot vanity" as a friend of mine used to call it.

Wait, did I mention I'm only 10 weeks and all this has happened? I'm sure I'll find more to say about all this all too soon....







2 comments:

~**Dawn**~ said...

Oh my gosh! Congratulations!!

the tumor diaries said...

Colleen,

Wait until you have your baby! And all the neat things that happen after that. Like leaking in public and walking around with nice wet marks on your chest! Haha!! Can't wait to hear all about it.
Love you and praying for your relief and comfort.
ape