Prepared and Ready

I'm not what you'd call an "able bodied woman", but I silently wish I was sometimes. You know what I'm talking about. The sort of woman who has strong wrists, shoulders, hands and feet. The sort of woman who has curves and hips made for childbearing.
Those women are built strong. Those are the sort of women who made it during the pioneer days.

I wouldn't have last very long back then, I don't think. The other day I was at a party and someone made the comment "You look like a Chopstick!" I thought she was referring to the black leggings I was wearing, but no, she was referring to the way I looked in the leggings.

And just because a person is on the smaller side doesn't automatically mean they are in shape, because looks can be deceiving...

Case in point about my frame? My exhausting hike this morning.



Bandera Mountain (Click on the name.)

A friend of mine asked me to go hiking with her and I said yes, but I told her that I was out of shape and asked if we could do a light, easy hike only. She said sure and assured me that it would be an easy three miles round trip.

The problem was, it wasn't easy and it certainly was not three miles. No. It was quite an arduous hike in fact. Something I did not feel I was able to do and we ran into some unforseen circumstances along the way.

First off the incline never leveled out, instead it kept getting steeper and more rocky. I kept thinking "Surly this is going to get easier..." as I panted and hauled my body over boulder after boulder. Then there was the snow thing. I wore my hiking/water sneakers and knew that if I had to stomp through a ton of snow, I was going to have some seriously wet feet.


(One of my climbing partners.)

I wasn't prepared for this. I wasn't expecting this and I wasn't ready or equipped.

Luckily, neither of the other two women were dressed for snow so we veered off path A and took path B which had much less snow. Only problem was, this path was straight up the mountain. At a 90 degree angle. I was intimidated by this mountain because I knew I did not have the strength, endurance or stamina to keep climbing. The thing of it was, there was no turning back. I had to keep going.


(Bandera Mountain, Cascade Mt. Range, WA)

So up I went. And that's when I started to feel a ping in my heart by the Spirit of God. "Are you ready for Him? Are you prepared for Him?" Is the thought that kept going through my mind as I climbed. At that point I felt like my immediate situation was a direct reflection of my heart and my answer was "No." "No I'm not ready for Jesus and no I'm not prepared." This is what I was thinking as I was climbing and panting and feeling my knees and my thighs start to ache and it made me feel very sad and disappointed in myself.

But I couldn't keep thinking about myself. There was a mountain to climb and ready or not I was climbing it. Looking straight up was so overwhelming, so I decided to just take it one step at a time and focus on climbing over the rock that was in front of me. (No use in dwelling on the fact that I'm exhausted and feel like I blew it, because I've got to climb it now.)

And one step at a time, I climbed that mountain. I was the last of the three of us. I stopped thinking about anything else except doing exactly what was in front of me. I was focused. Tired, but focused. Weary, but focused. My goal was the top of the mountain. Then somewhere close to the top they called down for me to stop. "We'ved decided to stop here." They said. Something about it taking too long and we would have a break and go back down. I didn't think much of it at the time. I was relieved that I could be done and sit and rest.

Rest I did in the big tall grass. I sipped on my camel back and took the wax casing off my cheese and ate it. I stared in awe at Mt. Rainer before me and all the other mountains around us.



Twas only later that it dawned on me. We didn't finish. And oddly not because I didn't want to, but because I was told to stop going. I certainly wasn't about to haul off into the wilderness on my own. We came as a group so we stayed as a group.

As I'm sitting here typing this tonight and thinking about the parallel this draws me to when I think about the Body of Christ and what Paul has admonished us to do. How many Christians start off with fervent vigor to serve God, but lose their stamina along the way. They burn out, get bored, lose interest, fall back, veer off, get distracted, lose heart and the list goes on why people don't Finish.

The people I was with prevented me from finishing. (And I don't say that as a critisism in the natural.) So let me ask you this, Do the Christian's you hang out with prevent you from finishing what the Lord is calling you to? Namely, intimacy and a love relationship with Christ? Does the Church you attend prevent you from seeking Christ as a Body, or do they invite and welcome what the Spirit of God wants to do?

These are some very serious questions that we as believers must ask ourselves. I was blessed to see a lot of the Lord's beauty today and by his grace He enabled me to see incredible views of his creation, but the fullness of it at the top of that mountain was not to be had...today.



I hope I get to go back and revisit that mountain and reach the top. In better shape (spiritually and physically) and Finish .


Mt. Rainier

I wish I knew who wrote this song, because I feel the lyrics are apropos of what my experience symbolized today...

I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus;
No turning back, no turning back.
Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
No turning back, no turning back.
The world behind me, the cross before me;
The world behind me, the cross before me;
The world behind me, the cross before me;
No turning back, no turning back.
Though none go with me, still I will follow;
Though none go with me, still I will follow;
Though none go with me, still I will follow;
No turning back, no turning back.
Will you decide now to follow Jesus?
Will you decide now to follow Jesus?
Will you decide now to follow Jesus?
No turning back, no turning back.

"Do Not Consider Yourself"

That phrase has been milling about in my head, as something minor happened and I found myself wanting to take offense at something awhile ago. I brought it to the Lord while standing before my closet looking for something to wear one morning and that is what He spoke to my heart.

I didn't like that.

I wanted to hear the Lord say something like, "Yeah, you're right." But I hopefully know Him well enough to know that He never thinks like that.

Still. Not considering myself is not an easy thing to do. I'm very good at considering myself and I wonder if you are too.

So tomorrow if someone offends you, or cuts you off, or just in general overlooks you, ask the Lord to help you not consider yourself. After all...

"Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails."
I Corinthians 13:4-8

Growing in the Dirt Pt.II

It's an interesting thing about dirt. When you're covered in dirt, you want to get it off. You're considered "Dirty". Dirty in society is not a good thing. If you were like me when you were little, you came in from a summer afternoon of making dirty mud pies while trying to feed them to your little sister and afterwards, your mother made you clean up before dinner.

As Americans we are way more obsessed with cleanliness then Europeans. They are just a little more okay with skipping showers for 3 to 5 days and being a little dirty.

Not me.

No, I shower almost every day if I can help it. I love the feeling of being clean. (Sports, camping and a muddy football pitch excluded.) However, as I was thinking about crocuses and flowers in general, I was thinking how odd it seems that something so beautiful could come out of something so, well, dirty.

God chose to make flowers grow not out of water or some sort of clean substance, but from dirt.

Sometimes the only way you can grow in your walk with the Lord is through the dirt or mess that has become your life. I would often find myself crying out to God, "Lord what a mess my life is! How is this ever going to be okay?" It's rough when things seem hopeless, messy or just plain dirty.

Then I realized that the Lord knew what He was doing when He invented flowers. I think He wanted me to notice that without the dirt, the beauty that becomes the flower would never flourish without the perfect setting of the dirt to cause it to grow.

I guess that's what Paul meant when he said:

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." -Romans 5:3-5

I find those words so comforting as I have experienced seasons of "Sackcloth and Ashes" so to speak and one knows that in seasons such as those, you feel anything but clean.

But to everything there is a season...and the Lord is faithful to always bring the rain and through the dirt the flower grows. So let Him Rein in your hearts and minds today and He will wash away the filth from the daughters of Zion. (Isaiah 4:4)

3 Thoughts on Love

Get to know the Father's Love.
Enjoy the Father's Love.
Obey Him, because of His Love.

If I were a Fisherman

If I were a fisherman and a wise one too, every morning before I set out to cast my net I would do well to check it first.

If I were a good fisherman with good and honest intentions and I got up early and I ate a good breakfast and prepared my boat, but did not check my net for holes whether out of laziness or lack of consideration, I would be a foolish fisherman. How could I expect to gather all the fish intended with a net full of holes? That is impossible. I might even get a decent catch and feel proud of what I caught, but I would have missed the fullness of my attempted bounty because the holes would allow the fishies to slip through.

John 21:10, 11 says:

Jesus said to them, "Bring some of the fish you have just caught." Simon Peter climbed aboard and dragged the net ashore. It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many the net was not torn.

What does that tell you about that net? Surely it was not weak, but strong. For only a strong net could hold such a large amount of fish as that.


My point is this. When the Lord calls us to minister to His people, whether it is a specific ministry, Sunday in church or the dude at the car wash, we must always check our nets. What does that mean? It means that we must daily be in tune with the Father's heart. We must daily be seeking to know what His plan is, His strategy and how He wants to go about meeting the needs of this hurting world around us. If we are not in tune with the Father's heart, no matter how big our net is if there are holes in it, we will miss the precious souls the Lord would desire us to catch. I'm not saying the Lord wouldn't catch them, because He is capable of anything. I'm saying that you or I could miss that which was intended because we were not prepared for what He desired to do.

Maybe you have experienced this before? You found yourself in a situation where you sensed God wanted to do something, but out of fear, or neglecting your relationship with the Lord, or neglecting prayer you watched an opportunity go by because your net wasn't as strong at it should be.

This is a challenging position to be in. Are we as God fearing Christian’s waiting for the Father to show us His ways? Are we so in tune with His voice and desires that in the midst of our busyness we heed the voice of the Holy Spirit and know instinctively when He is talking? Or when He presents an opportunity for us to speak do we even realize it? Or are we so dull that when we hear a voice saying "This is the way, walk ye in it," we assume it's some random thought and push it out and go in the opposite direction, thinking "Surely the Lord wouldn't be speaking to me."

How could I even pose to you these questions? Because I myself have failed to pay attention to Him and in doing this I have grieved His heart. That is my confession, but after a time of prayer and fasting for a bit He began to reveal this truth to me about myself and His people even more.

What it comes down to is a surrendering of self, will, desires, dreams, time, thoughts, feelings, plans, finances, family, hobbies, pursuits, comforts, material things, friends and anything else that you hold dear in order to let God in and be LORD over absolutely everything. He wants your heart, all of it. Not some pithy statements that we throw at Him in worship on Sunday, but don’t actually take those statements to heart when we walk out the door.

There is the gospel to be preached. There is a world in need of His love and there is a God in Heaven who will get what He wants whether you’re paying attention or not. So let me leave you with this thought. If Jesus were to ask you to go fishing for him and expected to see you bring in a load of fish, no matter how big or small your net is for the Lord, is it strong enough to hold even the smallest miracle of the one soul He wants to place in it today?

Oh, that we would truly be fishers of men…check your nets!

Listening and Waiting

It's late. I'm in my pj's. What's on my heart tonight? Learning to listen and wait on the Lord. I'm not talking about listening for the Lord while you're driving or doing the dishes. I'm talking about something that I kinda get the feeling few Christians including myself really learn how to do. Listen and wait. No agenda. No plans. No prayers. No worship even. Just getting on your face and waiting on the Lord. Sounds weird huh? I know it does, because few people actually do it, I think.

I feel like the Lord has been after me in this area to seek Him simply for Him. For nothing else and to do absolutely nothing while seeking Him except listen. I dare you to try it for five minutes and I promise you after two you'll be done wanting to wait. You'll get antsy. Your mind will flood with thoughts, wants, petitions, your to do list, whatever. If you're anything like me, (think energizer bunny) you will find this virtually impossible. So I dare you to try it with me anyway because it's worth it.

I'm sure that so many of us hear, but don't listen. Or wait, but are not still. God can speak to us however He wants and I'm not saying that you have to lie prostrate in order to hear from God, but there is a humility and submission that comes from getting on your face and thinking about the Awesomeness of God and His love that is quite a different experience for the fleshly body that we live in.

If you think about how you normally relate to God or to your friends, there is usually some sort of active verb involved. With the Lord it can be praying, singing, reading (your bible) or actually doing something. With friends, it can be all those things and much more. What I'm talking about are the two most passive verbs I can think of outside of sleeping; waiting and listening.

I personally have so much stuff going on right now that I can't afford to not hear from the Lord properly. I can't afford to be wrong in what I'm hearing. I'm not saying I need to be perfect in this, because I'm not, but I do know that He wants me (us!) to hear Him above the noise, above the distractions in life and most certainly above our own thoughts or "good ideas" for God.

Here's the thing. He is so faithful to direct us if we wait for Him. I can't stand it when Christians refer to God as their co-pilot. He shouldn't be the co-pilot. He's the pilot. We don't lead. He does...if we are willing to hand over the controls. But we don't. I don't. I can't seem to want to let go of my agenda and the Lord in His mercy is making my life so loud, that I'm seeing that unless I learn to throw out my agenda and get what he is trying to show me here...I just might miss something.

So I'm learning to wait and listen. Sometimes, He doesn't say anything to me. Which makes me wonder if like fasting, it's just the discipline of my heart He's after. Yesterday however he did show me something and so I did exactly what He wanted me to do and the outcome was awesome. If nothing else, He simply bolstered my faith that I can in fact hear specifically from Him if I would just take the time to do so.

Proverbs 8: 34-36
"Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. For whoever finds me finds life and receives favor from the LORD. But whoever fails to find me harms himself; all who hate me love death."

Hiding

One upon a time there was a little girl who was playing tag in the front yard of a neighbors house with some friends. She was the youngest, smallest and slowest of the group. She was easy to catch. The oldest boy would always make a bee line for her and make her cry when he tagged her out. "What do you have, rocks in your underpants or something, Baby?!"

Then with all the indignant anger she could muster up at five years old she shouted up into his face, "No! I don't have rocks!" And with that she pulled down her jeans in front of all the other kids, pointed to her waist and proudly shouted "I have BIRDIES on!" The other children exploded in laughter and started pointing at her as she stood, humiliated in the front yard once she realized what she had done. Red faced and with crocodile tears streaming down her cheeks she pulled her pants up and ran home.

As she sat on the couch she pulled her grandmothers afghan over her head and honestly believed that if she held very still her mother wouldn't see her or find out about what she did, but that didn't work. When her mother found out what happened she didn't really understand the situation and so the little girl got a scolding on top of being humiliated. It was the worst day of her little life.

That was a really long time ago, but I'll tell you something, sometimes I still feel like that little girl with the blanket over my head. Not with my parents, but with my Heavenly Father. Sometimes I'll do something and feel terrible about it and think that if I just don't talk to God, He won't think I'm there or see what I've done. As if He's not all omnipotent or omnipresent, ha ha...For cryin' out loud, He knows the things I'm going to do before I do them. It's not God who is shocked by the things I do, it's me !

It reminds me of this scripture in Psalm 32:3-5

3 When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Selah
5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. (Bold added) I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD "—and you forgave the guilt of my sin.
Selah.

I think it's time for God's people (including myself) to stop hiding under blankets to try and hide our sin. This has gone on since Adam hid from the Lord in the garden. Instead of hiding from our sin we need to be hidden in Him. As long as He is our resting place He "will protect us from trouble." (Ps. 32:7) That's His promise and I believe it. Not because I can keep myself, but because He will keep me. Now that's something to rejoice about ;-)