I'm going to tell you a little story...
I know of a young man who has cancer. He used to refer to his tumor as "Billy". On the day of his surgery he said, "Yeah, Billy's getting evicted today. He's been calling all the shots, but he never pays the rent so now he's getting the boot."
Then he had to have a shunt put into his chest after a particular surgery. As he came to in the post-op room he saw a woman who had the same surgery. In an attempt to make light of the situation he ripped open his shirt like Superman and exclaimed to her "Hey! You've got one of those things too? Cool!" To which she burst into tears because she didn't think he was funny.
It was at that point he realized that not everyone who has cancer is able to make light of the darkness of disease. Dare I say this man is a rare individual with respect to the perception of his circumstances.
The thing of it is, this humor is coming from a man who was facing death, (he's in remission now) while I slug through my life just facing my job and smaller (yet painful) heartache and trials.
I share this story as an encouragement to those of you who think your life is unbearable and you just don't see an end to the misery in sight.
So, I spent all last week filling my tears in a bucket full of grief, but I'm done crying now. I think I cried more because of the overall disappointment, then the reason for the disappointment, if that makes any sense.
Yes. I still hold the shorter stick. So I think I'll light a match and burn that short stick up. I'd rather light up the darkness and let you see my tears then remain in the darkness and cry in it all by myself.
This one thing I know for sure,
"You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light." Psalm 18:28