It's interesting how the cares and worries of our life can stop full stride when someone we know dies. Everything comes to a roving halt and perspective comes smashing down in front of our face, as if the ceiling caved in and you find yourself coughing in the powdery dust around you, waiting for the air to clear.
Not to be overly morbid, but I do think about death probably more so then your average person out there who is generally trying to *not* think about death. I think about it because it's inevitable and it's so important to know that life does not stop beyond the confines of this world. No, our spirits are eternal.
I knew someone who was alive this morning and now is no longer alive or present on this earth. I cannot deny the sadness in my heart today. Yet the Lord is faithful. Not two months ago did He give me a dream of her passing and I knew that it would be soon. He even allowed me the opportunity to say goodbye when I last visited my family and when I left her, I knew I would never see her again. So I cannot say that I am shocked, or didn't see it coming. However, she represented such sweet memories of my childhood and the leaving of her presence on earth is the taking of the tangible person with whom those memories were made.
Memories of wearing her shoes because her feet were so small I could fit into them. Memories of sitting at her vanity and nosing through every piece of jewelry, makeup, photograph and lacy underwear thingy I could find.
Memories of not wanting to eat, so she made up a character called Mr. Breakfast who consisted of her two fingers walking across my plate and he would come to *taste* my scrambled eggs which made me want to eat them.
Memories of her voice and how she would always say "Helloyyyy Colleen" in her sweet little way.
All the parties, all her clothes; so stylish. Her small hands, her sparkly eyes....
Dang it, I didn't mean for this post to end up in the first person. I wanted to stay outside this story. But how can you remove yourself from the ones you love and not have it get personal anyway? That I suppose is a writer's trick that I have yet to learn.
So today is a quiet day. A day for reading the Psalms. A day of remembrance. A day that is sobering. I am reminded of how brief my life is and how I can take nothing with me and how one day I will give an account to my Heavenly Father for the gift of love and life He breathed into me and how I chose to live it...To You Lord, be the Glory!
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.